So I Failed at Making Fudge..


which is odd, because I usually do so good at making fudge. Seriously. I made some to take to my dorm after Thanksgiving Break and I had people almost breaking down my door to get at it. I’m going to put this down to being tired.

Which means I should stay up and blog, right?

Right.

So I’m home. It’s crazy how much we decorate over here. We have two Christmas trees, lights everywhere, about five-thousand Nativity sets with snowmen and snowflakes and other holiday joy EVERYWHERE. It’s like being wrapped in a womb made of holidays. I love how all-out we go for Christmas, and I really hope that one day I’ll be able to do the same for my kids.

Which doesn’t seem like that far off of a goal, to be honest. My mom moved all of my boxes from the basement back into my old room (I lived in the basement for awhile so that my niece and nephew could live in there while my brother was finalizing his divorce…long story) and they fill up a walk-in closet. I’m pretty sure at least five of those boxes are Christmas ornaments alone. The other ones are mainly baby things that will go to my first daughter (who I shall name Michael Alice, no question about that) and then dolls, and old writing journals and drawings I’ve done over the years. I’m unpacking my Willow Tree Nativity set though. That thing is too beautiful to wallow in a box even for a moment, and it just makes me feel more at peace when I’m able to see it. The most unsettling thing about my dorm is not being able to see it. So I’m going to take every chance I can get to stare at it now.

I got to see my twin cousins today too. They are fraternal and five, with one boy and one girl (though the girl is convinced she wants to be a boy which we don’t know if its a trans thing or if its because she feels weird that her twin is a boy but honestly I’ll love that little monkey no matter what she (or he) decides) and they are in that stage where they just want to talk your head off. They dont’ even care if you’re listening. They’ll talk at a wall if there’s no one else there to fixate on. It’s adorable, but it’s also headache inducing. I may want kids someday, and I may even want a lot of kids, but whoo boy after today I’m really glad I don’t have any right at this moment.

Also, my little brother got his first paycheck today. It was upwards of 150$ for 25 hrs, which is honestly fabulous for a first job in high school. He seemed to be really proud of himself, and it makes me a lot less worried about his future when I know that he is at least learning how to care for himself and how to make it out in the work force.

I guess I have a lot to be thankful for today. I have a family. I have a family that loves to celebrate. I have a family that knows the importance of really going that extra mile to make sure people know that they are appreciated. I have a family that accepts all kinds of neurotypes and gender identites and personalities and styles. I have a family that treasures the joy of children, and respects the awe of old age. I have a family that knows the value of good food, and knows that that value comes not from the food but from the hands that make it. I have a family that works hard. I have a wonderful family who do their best to make sure I have a wonderful life.

I guess when I look at it that way,

I don’t feel so bad about failing the fudge.

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