Diagnosis: Autism Spectrum Disorder by Amber Koneval

when the moon was full and I ran outside

to howl at it

I knew then


when the books ran out of pages

because I’d stored them in my head

I knew then


when the teacher told me that I was bad

because I was right

I knew then


when mommy cried because she just couldn’t

get me to smile

I knew then

when the other children reached out to hold me

and I shattered, like salt

when the lonliness took hold of my shoulders

and I called it friend

when my eyes burned with the need to know

anything, everything, at all

so desperately that it made me blind to you

When I floated to the stars, and looked around

and saw I’d fallen into the wrong planet

I knew then


labelling me with a diagnosis, then

told me nothing

but perhaps, just maybe

you know now too

Amber Koneval

-A poem I wrote after talking to a bunch of other autistics on Wrong Planet.


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