Been Adulting Pretty Hard Lately

So it might seem like I’ve been a little AWOL lately. Even this week, I’m posting on a seemingly arbitrary Tuesday instead of my customary Sunday. I am genuinely sorry that I have fallen short of my own expectations, especially so close to the end of the year as we are.

However, I do have a pretty awesome excuse: I’m now engaged! My significant other ended up surprising me on Halloween weekend with a carved pumpkin and a live band (we got engaged dressed as Fred and Daphne from Scooby Doo, of all things).


Of course, once the excitement settles, what is left is the realization that we suddenly have a ton of things to do: engagement photos (finishing up round two of those this weekend), house showings (fiance wants us to be able to give each other a home for Christmas), scheduling time to figure out when we can reserve my home parish for the ceremony, scheduling marriage prep and so on and so forth ad infinitem. It’s a lot of fun, it’s a lot of being equally stressed and equally thankful for even the opportunity to be so stressed about such wonderful things, but it is very time-consuming.

We are starting to get into a good rhythm, however, so I should be able to get back on track with most of my social media. I’ve been keeping up with my writing work well enough, at least, so never fear. I’ll keep myself as much on track with my social media as well.

Prayers and good thoughts are very welcome at this time!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Happy Valentine’s Day, followers! I hope that you get some time today to spend with your loved ones, whether that be with a significant other, family members or a quality day to spend pampering yourself.

I really hope that this will not include spending your money supporting the romanticization of relationship abuse. At this point, I probably don’t even have to name the film I’m talking about, but I am breaking my posting schedule today to voice my support for the #50ShadesisAbuse awareness campaign. As this topic has already been discussed at length, I will simply post links to some of the best arguments I’ve found against the film, and why you should not support the continued popularity of the material if you value the lives of battered and abused individuals.

Please consider donating what money you would spend on the film today on the battered women’s shelters, anti-domestic violence organizations, or anti-sex trafficking organization of your choice. I personally donate to SafeHouse Denver regularly. If you weren’t planning on seeing the film in the first place, consider donating anyways (even just the price of a movie ticket) because these kinds of places and organizations could use every bit of help they can get!

Fifty Shades of Abuse Blog– A chapter-by-chapter analysis of the book, pointing out specific instances of abuse and why it is classified as abuse

End Sexual Exploitation- The origin of the #50dollarsnot50shades campaign, that urges you to donate 10, 20, or 50 dollars to local shelters/organizations, complete with a helpful list of places that could use your money to help women in real life ’50shades’ relationships.

           A Tumblr Post That Superimposes Actual Quotes From the Book Over The Movie Poster– I read these out loud to my wonderful significant other, and he immediately made gagging noises.

50 Shades Is Abuse Twitter Campaign

The Academy of Women’s Health: An insightful post from an organization made up of physicians, nurses, and other health professions about how 50 Shades romanticizes sexual violence and emotional abuse against women.

As a recovering victim of both sexual and emotional abuse, I ask you to please not support media that directly supports the perpetuation of those vicious cycles today. This poet, this woman, does not condone it. I beg you to join the boycott, and send the message to today’s media that today’s society will not pay for its own degradation.

Spend this Valentine’s Day cherishing the ones you love in a healthy way, and standing up to create a society in which every woman and every man gets that chance, instead of being tricked into accepting abuse as the only love they will ever know. #50ShadesisAbuse

Word Sexual by Amber Koneval

My poem, ‘Word Sexual’, has just been published online by Stepping Stones Magazine. Find the work here  and let me know what you think! This was written as a response poem to a friend’s work, ‘You Put the Sin in Synonym’, which was written about my apparently ‘sensual’ style of writing. ‘Word Sexual’ is my opinion of his opinion.

Dark Sonnet By Neil Gaiman

I don’t think that I’ve been in love as such

although I liked a few folk pretty well

Love must be vaster than my smiles or touch

for brave men died and empires rose and fell

for love, girls follow boys to foreign lands

and men have followed women into hell

In plays and poems someone understands

there’s something makes us more than blood and bone

And more than biological demands for me love’s like the wind unseen, unknown

I see the trees are bending where it’s been

I know that it leaves wreckage where it’s blown

I really don’t know what I love you means

I think it means don’t leave me here alone


One of my favorite current love poems. It’s so wonderfully realistic and I love the way it opens in such a traditional way yet diverts into a fresh, new kind of  understanding of the idea of love. I’m a huge fan of Gaiman’s poetry, more so than anything else of his writing.

Kimi Ni Todoke (Reaching for You)-Sung by Tanizawa Tomofumi

In that gentle spot warmed by the sun, the chime is delayed

The wind brushing my cheeks turns into my deep breath

Roundabout tears, the tomorrow we named

Are all overlapping future-colored lines

These childish feelings

The days we laughed together happily

I hope we come to treasure them

You surpassed this disconnected time

And gave me lots of firsts

I’ll connect them to you, I’ll reach you

The after school sunset, your back, as you’re laughing

Secret whispers, inside these untouched feelings

The you inside of me, the me inside of you

Are all interweaving future-colored lines

The smell of the town after the rain

And the dream-like secret I hold in my heart

So many times I’ve felt like crying, but then laughed instead

Rather than thinking about it, hurry up

It’s fine if you just fly into my heart

To connect to you, to reach you

In front of you, cherished more than anyone

is someone who cherishes you so that you won’t get hurt, that’s right, it’s me

Even if your words somehow become “goodbye” instead

Everything will be as it is

These childish feelings

The days we laughed together happily

I hope we come to treasure them

I’ll become just a little grown up

Surpassing the me that wants to be just like you

To connect to you

Right now

to reach you

I’m full of lovey-doveyness tonight. I seem to be more of a fan of Japanese love songs than American ones- they seem to be more genuine, rather than cliche, and read more like a poem when translated. This is is the opening, translated into English, of the anime adaptation of the manga Kimi Ni Todoke (Reaching for You).

If by Emilie Autumn

If I had a mystery

I’d spoil the surprise

Giving it away to you

To see it through your eyes

If I had a song to sing

I’d name it after you

So that each time it was heard

Everybody knew

That no one mattered anymore

And no one ever would

That I would stop the spinning earth

If only music could

And if I had a purer heart

I think that I could be

Something that you’ll someday need

If only that were me

For if I look inside myself

At what I hide away

I find my heart will never be

The reason that you stay